"I CAN do it, I AM strong, I WILL surrender" This is the title of a blog that I just read, via blooma. The timing is so wonderful as J and I took our first Hypnobirthing (HB) class last night. Hypnobirthing (click on the link to find more info) is the birthing method we have picked, along with water birth to Labor and Deliver Alex. Well I researched what I wanted and asked J if he felt the same way and went from there. We both agreed that we want a heathy momma and baby at the end of the day and if we can help it a med-free birth, yes I said it MED-FREE birth, that is what we want to do. I understand I haven't gone through L&D so I do not know what I am "in-store" for but I do know my body and I also know this is what I was made to do. I am going to trust my body when I most need it.
Walking into our first class I did not know what to fully expect. I knew that my Doula, Jonna, highly recommend Dawn as our HB instructor and that I would be in wonderful hands. After I introduced myself to Dawn I knew that I did make the right choice.
Empowering. Her first class was just that. Empowering. Reconfirming what I have been feeling my whole life, birthing is what I was made to do. My body knows what to do and when. I took in so many statements from last night I will go over a few that really stuck with me.
#1: When someone tells someone that they are pregnant why do they feel the need to tell the pregnant lady horror stories about birth?? Especially when I tell them I plan on going med-free. Same thing goes for when I tell them I will be Cloth Diapering.
So why is that? Personally I have had a number of women actually laugh at me and say something along the lines of "oh just wait, you'll be begging for meds" or " HA!! Yeah right, good luck with that". I normally shake it off and just go with the flow but I wont anymore. I wont be putting up with that anymore. If they think they can shoot me down, have zero faith in me and feel completely fine to dismiss my opinion I will nicely tell that that is not okay with me. Now I am not a person who deals with confrontation so we will see how the next confrontation goes.
Next someone tells you that they are pregnant tell them the BEST story you can think of, or just congratulate them. Think about it this way...if someone tells you that they are sick you don't think of the worse case story and tell them that. You say "Oh I hope you feel better!!" Or you tell them of a story that you have heard of a HAPPY ending. Remember this for next time you are in this situation.
#2: Turn the negatives into positives/believe in yourself.
Pretty much the same thing here. But I'll go a few steps further. When someone says you cant, follow that up with yes I can!! When I start thinking I cant, I will turn it around and think YES I CAN. The power of positive thinking and positive reinforcement is amazing.
I received a book and print outs last night, both have sections of affirmations. I will be taking some of my fun pens and paper and write some of my favorite ones down. Posting them around the house, in my car, in my purse...wherever I can for reminders.
A few that really stick out to me (and some new ones I found while searching):
- I put all fear aside as I prepare for the birth of my baby.
- I trust my body, and follow its lead.
- I am prepared to meet whatever turn my birthing takes.
- I CAN do it, I AM strong, I WILL surrender.
- She believed she could, so she did.
- She turned her can't into cans. and her dreams into plans.
#3: You CAN DO IT
Also close to the first two points. But this really stuck out to me so I wanted to include it at my top stick out moments.
#4: Practice your breathing.
I will be downloading my CD's with affirmations and Rainbow Relaxation songs onto my computer tonight and then onto my phone so I can listen to them while practicing my breathing all of the time. Especially when I wind down at night. That is the best time to practice my breath. I will also play the songs while doing my prenatal yoga at home.
Our first class was a hit. I came out of it so excited for labor & Delivery. YES I said that. I am excited for my Labor & Delivery. Some might find that funny, others might embrace it. I am just hoping I feel the same way come February!! :)
I'm so excited for you, Jamie! I really hope you end up with your dream birth. I think sometimes, when people laugh and say, "you just wait and see!" it is because birth is so unpredictable... and perhaps people feel badly that their own birth stories didn't go the way they'd hoped. That doesn't make those condescending remarks helpful, though.
ReplyDeleteI know for me, I had the most beautiful birth plan for Sam. I still have it. I still love it. I wish his birth had gone the way I'd envisioned. It didn't. It was one of those horror stories and you DON'T need to hear it! In the end, though, the only thing I really wished I would have done differently would have been to prepare myself mentally for things to go not as planned. I was so focused on the positive (which is a good and important thing to do!) that when things went poorly, it was really hard to have mercy on myself. I felt just awful when I ended up making decisions that I hadn't initially wanted to make before I was in the situation. It was devastating to me when I had to let that beautiful birth plan go and do things differently.
When I had Lily, I had an almost identical, just as beautiful birth plan (I'd love to show them to you someday - I didn't do hypnobirthing, but I think our ideas of the ideal birth were VERY similar!). The only difference was I allowed myself some grace. I allowed myself to be me, who I really was, not just who I wanted to be. When I ended up making some choices that veered from the plan the second time, I didn't beat myself up about it. I allowed myself to enjoy the experience as much as I could, however it ended up happening. That was the biggest gift I could give myself, my husband, and our beautiful baby. No bad feelings on that most amazing day. Go for the gusto and do what works.
I hope you don't read this as discouraging in any way! I SO want for you a beautiful, peaceful, unmedicated waterbirth! And I'm sure you can do it. You are absolutely right that this is what our bodies were MADE to do! I just want you to be kind to yourself if it doesn't end up working out that way, too. The most important thing is to be well. Stay positive. And focus on that beautiful new life - what a joy when you finally get to meet him face to face!!!
YES Becca!! YES We are on the same path. I am such an open book listening to other's points of view and comments. I am deeply sorry that Sam's birth did not go as planned. That is truly something I am very aware of. Its a birth PLAN, its not for sure, things do and will more then likely go wrong. Like you said embracing that is key. I would love to see you again, coffee sometime and we can chat about your birth plans and, if you are okay with it Sam's birth. I do want to hear stories of every angle, not just the perfect story time ones. Knowing the "real world" will keep my mind open and willing to let it be. I know that is the big thing. I will just have to LET IT BE. :) let it flow, it'll go where it needs to go and I am okay with it ending up no where near where I "want" it to be.
ReplyDeleteSo yes, lets get together sometime and chat!! I'd love to see your birth plans as well. :) Thank you for this, and for speaking your mind. It was actually really hard for me to write this, well hit submit really. I hardly ever have a stone cold view on things. Putting it on my blog for the "world" (okay I have 5 followers, who knows how many actually read it)to read was hard. So thank you for replying. :)
Jamie, I love your attitude!!! I can't wait to hear your birth story and see pics of your sweet baby boy. You are going to do amazing!
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